I Don’t Want to Go

Almost every woman dreads, that third trimester routine prenatal checkup. The drive, the wait time at the OB, the uncomfortable moment you change into that maternity gown. The fact that everything is probably going to be just fine. The unsolicited pregnancy advice. The stares by pregnant women with smaller baby bellies… It all adds up to an uncomfortable pregnancy nightmare.

Song Lyrics:
L[Verse 1]
Another damn appointment, another wasted day
I’d rather be in bed with my hand between my legs
This belly’s gotten stupid, I can barely reach my toes
Sex drive’s through the roof and all I want is to stay home
Let me take a without wearing clothes
[Pre-Chorus]
But no, they wanna poke and prod and measure every inch
Make me haul this giant gut down to the clinic again
[Chorus]
I don’t wanna go, I just wanna nap
Or rub these swollen tits, till I start to leak and drip
The only silver lining is when that nurse slides in
Two fingers checking dilation, yeah she makes my pussy clench while I lay her on this bench
But getting on that table is a whole damn fight
This belly’s so enormous I can barely sit upright
Pulling off my pants while the skin stretches tight
Then somehow I gotta roll and stand back up… alright
[Verse 2]
I waddle in the waiting room looking six months overdue
That pregnant Nurse smiles sweet cuz she knows the struggle too
“Lie back for me, honey,” as her own belly gets in the way
I’m trying not to tip over while this belly starts to sway
[Pre-Chorus]
She reaches down and checks me, slow and deep and firm
For half a second I forget why I even came
[Chorus]
I don’t wanna go, I just wanna nap
Or rub this swollen clit, till I start to leak and drip
The only silver lining is when that nurse slides in
Two fingers checking dilation, yeah she makes my pussy clench
But getting on that table is a whole damn fight
This belly’s so enormous I can barely sit upright
Pulling off my pants while the skin stretches tight
Then somehow I gotta roll and stand back up… alright
[Bridge]
Belly folds and rolls when I try to sit back down
I’m sweating, I’m panting, I’m stuck in this gown
Every time I shift it feels like something’s gonna tear
Just let me stay home and play with myself, I swear
[Final Chorus – slightly bigger]
I don’t wanna go, I just wanna nap
Or rub this oils on this swollen stomach while I leak and my pussy starts to drip
The only silver lining is when that nurse slides in
Two fingers checking dilation, yeah she makes me clench
But getting on that table is a whole damn fight
This belly’s so enormous I can barely sit upright
Pulling off my pants while the skin stretches tight
Then somehow I gotta roll… and stand back up…
…alright
[Outro – spoken / half-sung]
Next time just send the nurse to my house…
I’ll be naked on the couch…
Belly out…
Waiting. With my pussy out